OHLALÁ!
•
AMORES
• MATERNIDAD Y CRIANZA
por
Ayelén Di Leva
20 de enero de 2023
Cómo pueden empoderar las conversaciones entre madres e hijos. – Créditos: Getty
La palabra es una de las herramientas más importantes que tenemos, está al alcance de la mano y no hay que hacer ningún curso ni comprar algún libro para utilizarla. Por eso, podemos regalarles estas frases a nuestros hijos todos los días para que ellos después puedan ir construyendo lo que nosotras, como mamás, más deseamos: que se quieran y que confíen en ellos mismos.
¿Para qué digo una frase? Porque la palabra construye. Por más chiquitos que sean, es importante decirles algunas cosas, porque más allá de que no comprendan el significado de lo que le estamos diciendo, les van a llegar nuestros gestos, nuestras miradas. Es clave saber que no hay una edad para comenzar esta “tarea”, de hecho, funciona desde que están en la panza.
Por eso, te compartimos 5 frases que pueden ayudar a los más peques a crear su amor propio:
Seas lo que seas, hagas lo que hagas, te quiero igual
Así sabrán que tu amor está por encima de su comportamiento o de sus actitudes y que no va a estar condicionado ni por la conducta ni por sus cualidades. Esto habla de la incondicionalidad, de la seguridad en el vínculo. Para tu hijo, es la certeza de que no lo vas a dejar de querer porque se haya portado mal, se muestre enojado o elija determinada carrera. Esa frase los calma, los ayuda a entender que tenemos que ponerles límites, pero el amor siempre va a estar.
Tu poder está en vos mismo
Esta es una frase que elogia al esfuerzo, al proceso y a la valentía de intentarlo: da cuenta de que todo eso es más importante que el resultado en sí.
El resultado es una foto, es un momento, puede salir bien o mal, pero la constancia y el compromiso son cosas que lo van a acompañar siempre y van a aumentar su autoestima a medida que vaya teniendo desafíos y logros propios. Es muy importante, porque si no fomentamos esto, cuando crecemos sentimos que tenemos la obligación de ser las mejores en todo: la mejor de la empresa, la mejor deportista, la mejor mamá, etc.
Ser feliz es tu decisión
Ser feliz no es lo que tengas, porque siempre te va a faltar algo, nunca te va a alcanzar. Ser feliz es una decisión propia de valorar tu vida y de querer vivirla de la mejor manera posible, es un estado. Si bien hay circunstancias que nos hacen estar tristes, al entender que la felicidad es una decisión nuestros hijos se dejan de quejar, aparece el agradecimiento automático y valoran lo que tienen, lo que son, los vínculos que los rodean. Dejan de compararse y de armar berrinche por cualquier cosa, empiezan a disfrutar.
Y, como si fuera poco, también la decisión de ser feliz los conecta con el presente, con el aquí y ahora.
Confío en vos
Que se sienta parte fundamental de un equipo, de un sistema, de la familia. Al saber que nosotras confiamos en ellos, se dan cuenta de que son importantes y que no da lo mismo su presencia o no. Esto ayuda mucho a fortalecer su confianza, su autonomía. Por ejemplo, pedirles que ordenen porque son parte de la casa los hace sentir importantes, aprenden a hacer cosas, suman su granito de arena, su mirada… Por eso confían en sí mismos, en que lo pueden hacer. Además, ponerse al servicio del otro tiene que ver con la empatía, con la sensación de que viniste a hacer de este mundo algo mejor, que no sos una carga, todo lo contrario, venís a sumar. La autoestima también se va a basa en la valía propia, en la confianza, en la colaboración, en el sentido de pertenencia.
Reparemos siempre con amor
Así le enseñás que si trataron mal a alguien o dijeron algo que no corresponde, tienen que pedir perdón.
El perdón está habilitado, no tienen que hacer todo bien: si se equivocan, lo pueden reparar. Si les enseñamos eso a nuestros hijos y lo hacemos nosotras, como madres, ofreciéndoles disculpas después de enojarnos, explicándoles que fue solo porque estamos cansadas los vamos a ayudar aumentar su autoestima porque no van a estar todo el tiempo pensando en que si lastiman a otro son malos. Estamos muy acostumbradas a que no podemos fallar, que pedir perdón es sinónimo de debilidad. Hay que modificar el discurso y demostrarles que todo se puede reparar. Eso sí, nunca tenemos que obligarlos a pedir perdón, con el ejemplo alcanza: si nosotras lo hacemos en casa, ellos van a aprender a hacerlo casi de manera automática.
Y, como bonus track, recordá que todo lo que les digas a tus hijos va a repercutir en vos y te va a ayudar, en este caso, a elevar tu amor propio.
¿Te animás a empezar a ponerlo en práctica?
Un cuento para que los más chicos sepan que más allá de toda circunstancia estamos a su lado para acompañarlos, queriéndolos tal cual son.
También es para nenes y habla de la incondicionalidad en el vínculo. Enseña que se pueden poner límites a la conducta, pero que el amor es incondicional.
Cuentos cortos para potenciar la positividad y la autoestima de los niños.
Experta consultada: Lic. Tere Inés Olmedo. Psicóloga clínica especializada en maternidad.
IG: @psicologademamas / psicologademamas.com.ar
¡Compartilo!
En esta nota:
Maternidad
Mechi Bustos
Isabel Macedo respondió a las críticas por el aspecto físico de su beba
Mechi Bustos
Josefina de Cabo
Ana Gutiérrez Matus
En este artículo veremos algunas frases para motivar a nuestros hijos que nos van a ser de gran utilidad. Todos los padres nos sentimos en la obligación de educar y corregir a nuestros hijos y para ello podemos hacerlo en negativo o en positivo. Cuantas veces al día corriges en negativo a tus hijos? Cuantas veces al día les decimos NO? Un pequeño ejercicio que os puede servir de utilidad es apuntar durante un solo día las frases que utilizáis para corregir a vuestros hijos y hacer balance de cuantas son negativas y cuantas positivas.
Si el balance es claramente negativo nuestros hijos desarrollarán un alto grado de insatisfacción, provocandole estados de rabia y rebeldía hacia la figura de autoridad.
Bien es verdad que los niños deben tener claros límites y que nosotros debemos hacer que se respeten, pero un NO también puede estar seguido de una valoración positiva. Por ejemplo podemos decir claramente al niño que no se dicen palabrotas y hazto seguido también decirle que sabemos que el es muy inteligente y que sabemos que entenderá que ese tipo de palabras. pueden hacer daño a la gente. Las frases para motivar a nuestros hijos harán que sus valoraciones con respecto a sí mismos sean mayores ganando así en seguridad personal y autoestima.
Siguiendo a la pedagoga Elena Roger, estas serían algunas de frases para motivar a nuestros hijos que podemos utilizar… evidentemente cada uno puede adaptarlas a su personalidad y estilo.
¡Es fantástico!
Me interesa.
No es fácil a veces encontrar la parte positiva pero con un poco de esfuerzo podemos lograrlo. Recuerda cada vez que digas un NO, compénsalo con una frase motivadora y positiva para tus hijos. Este simple gesto hará que tu también te sientas mucho mejor emocionalmente.
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May 17, 2022
Work and study
Some words and expressions only seem harmless to us.
It’s time to throw them out of the lexicon.
You can listen to the article. If it’s more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.
Some common phrases, clichés and excuses at first glance seem insignificant and harmless. But they don’t advance negotiations or help others understand you better. But they can spoil the impression of you, discourage the interlocutors from continuing a serious dialogue, or even offend one of the listeners. nine0003
Here are examples of similar words and expressions that are used in meetings or meetings and can sometimes be perceived with a negative connotation.
It doesn’t matter how long a person has spoken before and how thoughtful and meaningful his speech was. One short phrase can underestimate its value and turn it into “just words” that you can supposedly ignore.
This statement can be understood in such a way that a person is not able to defend his point of view, and is not ready to make concessions.
Therefore, he does not defend the opinion itself, but the right to have it. As a result, listeners involuntarily tense up, because for them this is a signal that the conversation will lead nowhere, or even should stop altogether. nine0003
Most of the time I have one. Even when a person says these words, he makes another choice: try to shield himself with one phrase or say something more worthy. You have to be prepared to defend your decision. Do not excuse yourself with a remark about the lack of choice and expect that listeners will simply take it for granted.
Such a phrase devalues any effort, which probably costs more. These words can give the interlocutor the impression that it makes no sense to listen to the person who says them. nine0003
After such a statement, the conversation is unlikely to continue. Nobody likes it when others don’t want to listen to their thoughts.
So don’t use such words.
Many people think that the word “personally” more clearly demonstrates that they are talking about their own feelings and opinions. But this is already so obvious when a person uses the pronoun “I”.
We insert this expression while looking for the right word or formulating a thought. And although it is slightly better than “uh”, it still creates an unpleasant impression. It is preferable to think over your remark silently and start speaking when there is a clear understanding of what exactly and how to say. nine0003
Interlocutors may think that in this way a person refuses to control the process and relieves himself of obligations. This word can mean that he seems to promise to do something, but provides himself with a loophole just in case. And it calls into question the ability to fulfill obligations.
When a person says this, colleagues may get the impression that he just wants to shift the responsibility to someone else.
Therefore, it is better to explain the circumstances in detail so that the listeners understand what is the reason for the situation. Well, if the speaker is still guilty, he should admit it and offer a way out. nine0003
Admitting guilt with slang may sound inappropriate in a work setting. If among colleagues it is customary to communicate in a more formal way, these words will more likely hint at sarcasm than a serious attitude towards a mistake.
Most often, people mask another phrase with this phrase: “I won’t”. Even if you don’t mean anything like that, others will hear just that. So it is better to use a different wording or explain the reasons that prevent you from doing what you want. nine0003
With these words, an image of a capricious child who wiggles his legs may appear in the minds of the interlocutors. No one promised that life is an honest thing.
Instead of saying this banal phrase, it is better to explain what exactly seems unfair if it is not obvious to others.
For example, too many tasks piled up and it became difficult to keep up with everything. Or actions are required for which there are no necessary skills.
Translated, this phrase means “Goodbye innovation and creative ideas.” She says that a person is closed to suggestions and new approaches. After it, colleagues do not really want to speak out.
Naturally, there are times when you really need to get ideas. But in a certain context, this phrase can become passive-aggressive. Moreover, regardless of whether it is pronounced by its leader or subordinate.
If a task is set, specific instructions should be given. Otherwise, the question can be interpreted as follows: “You need to do this. Figure out how.” nine0003
What if the person receives instructions and says, “Any ideas?” – he seems to be trying to relieve himself of responsibility for doing the job. It is better in such a situation to ask more specific, clarifying questions.
This is a “relative” of another phrase, which should also be forgotten: “I don’t want to offend you, but …” From such an introduction, the words do not become less disrespectful. Their equivalent is “I don’t care about you, and I’ll give my opinion anyway.”
After such a statement, a constructive dialogue will obviously not continue. After all, this phrase essentially means that the interlocutor is talking nonsense. It will be better to think about what exactly seems meaningless, and formulate a remark in the form of a question to clarify the matter.
Almost every improvement is the result of “reinventing” something old. Sometimes attempts fail, but sometimes they are incredibly successful. But such a phrase in advance stigmatizes all ideas as bad and blocks the way for innovation. nine0003
This is not a sign of respect at all.
You can listen to a person, but not delve into his words. This wording most often means that the meeting participant simply waited for his turn to speak.
One should be more careful with this alliance. When the discussion is over and suddenly someone throws such a “but” – what is said after that can nullify all previous statements. People usually cling to this word, attach less importance to what they heard earlier and remember best what was said at the end. nine0003
It sounds like the previous words were a lie. If everything said is true, there is no point in using such a phrase. Having heard it, willy-nilly you will doubt the sincerity of the interlocutor.
What phrases annoy you at work? Share examples in the comments.
Read also 🧐
“Every word counts,” she says.
– To convince means to choose the right expressions. A true leader always finds the right words that can make an impact and hit the target regardless of the audience, topic, context, or format of the discussion. One of the personality traits of any leader is the ability to speak in a way that holds attention and convinces. In the speech of many leaders, words and expressions that do not correspond to their level often slip through. To the speaker, these phrases may seem harmless, but to the listener they may carry a completely different connotation. nine0003
Here are 13 expressions to refrain from using at work.
Someone has been promoted, but you are not. Another was awarded, but you are not. “There are people in the world who are starving, while many people have plenty of food,” says Price. “There is injustice in the world and at work. And regardless of whether we are talking about a global problem or a specific situation, this phrase should be avoided, if only because complaining or whining will not fix anything.
But an active position is quite possible.” Build an argument and state your position to a person or group of people who are able to help you. nine0003
How would you feel if you were given this response to a request for help? A dismissive, detached and self-interested attitude to a common cause quickly nullifies career opportunities. “This does not mean that you should always agree, but your position should be argued and presented with respect for the interlocutor,” says Darlene. “For example, like this: “I’ll be happy to help. Given that I still have A, B, and C to do right now, let’s decide which of these tasks I can put aside in order to take on a new task? This response will highlight your ability to work as part of a team, but will challenge him to be realistic about his expectations.” nine0003
Which sounds more convincing: “I think that our cooperation can be successful” or “I am sure that our cooperation will be successful”?
The difference in wording seems small, but the degree of confidence that he hears in your words is very important for the client.
To emphasize the importance and seriousness of your words, it is better to replace “I think” with “sure” and “may” with “will”.
“Thank you” would be politely answered with “please”. “Such a response means that it was a pleasure to help you and you accept gratitude,” says Price. Although “no problem” or “no problem” dropped in conversation can also imply this, these phrases do not replace a polite answer. So you show that, firstly, gratitude does not matter to you, and secondly, your contribution is not so significant. nine0003
“Imagine today is the last day to file your tax returns and you ask a friend to drop your return in the mailbox before the end of the day,” Price suggests. – And he answers you that he will try to be in time. Most likely, you immediately decide to do it yourself. In a conversation, especially with superiors, it is better to replace “I’ll try” with “I’ll do it.” This seemingly small change will seriously speak in your favor.
If you insult and call others names, this is a direct path to career suicide. As Price says, “Verbal aggression not only speaks of teenage immaturity, but can also lead to dismissal and other serious consequences.” If you are truly dissatisfied with the professional qualities and competence of other people or organizations, then raise this issue tactfully, with respect and objectivity.
“Effective leaders value creativity and the ability to come up with creative, new solutions,” says Price. With one such phrase, you show that you are deprived of these valuable qualities: you are stuck in the past, closed to change and not able to think flexibly. nine0003
Right? Are you sure you’ve considered all possible options and exhausted any alternatives? “You make the mistake of insisting on the most negative language,” Price teaches.
– Your words reflect a pessimistic, passive and even hopeless view of the problem. Few people appreciate this approach to work. Top managers celebrate and promote those who strive to do their best. Even in the darkest of circumstances, it is worth talking about how you can help, or take part in solving the problem. nine0003
Surely you will not be happy to hear: “You should not have been silent, but said at once!” or “I should have tried harder!” “Most often, such words are perceived as an attempt to accuse or shame,” explains Price. – Ideally, in work you should strive for cooperation and respectful attitude. Instead of making people feel guilty (even if they are guilty), it’s worth trying a more constructive approach.” You can say: “Next time, so that there are no overlaps, let me know right away” or “For the future, I recommend you …”
Save these calls for informal situations and don’t use them at work.
“The address “guys” is not applicable if women are present. Also, using any of these words to refer to a group of people in a professional context is a sign of a lack of professionalism,” explains Price. With colleagues, bosses and clients, replace “people” and “guys” with “employees”, “team”.
Such phrases undermine the importance of everything that is said after them, and undermine the credibility of your judgments. “Remember that the words you use reflect how you evaluate yourself and your own statements. Therefore, avoid starting a sentence with any phrases that lower your authority or raise doubts about your abilities.
Such evasive and cautious expressions are perceived as a desire to play it safe and gain approval. Price says: “You can say that if you really need encouragement or approval from the interlocutor. But if you want to convince others of your point of view, then you do not need to look for confirmation of your words from them.
Speak confidently and directly.” nine0003
“Even so, no one likes to think that what you do is more important than what they ask,” says Price. To maintain a positive attitude and show consideration for others, it is better to say, “I am ready to discuss this with you after my meetings are over. Let me come to you around two.”
All of the phrases on this list occur frequently enough to be difficult to get rid of. To learn how to track them and eradicate them in your speech, you may find these methods useful. nine0003
Turn on your audio recorder when talking on the phone at work. “At the end of the day, on your way home from work, listen carefully to the recording. Have you heard words and phrases from this list or other expressions in your speech that are perceived as negative or limiting? Write these phrases in a column, and next to them write options that can more constructively express what you wanted to say, ”Price suggests.